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Creative Story

In: English and Literature

Submitted By snehasurya123
Words 780
Pages 4
If you tell yourself you’re going insane, going crazy, you aren’t. The only people that truly lose sanity are those that don’t know it and think that they are normal. I used to tell myself I was crazy, mentally ill. Until one day, I woke up and realised I was bringing my misery upon myself. I was contemplating my sanity daily when it was something I didn’t need to focus and dwell upon.

If I recognised that I was crazy, I wasn’t gone enough. If I can perceive my sanity, I’m not crazy. So if you think you’re going to lose your hair and your skin pigment will go pasty white, you’re going to bring it upon yourself.

In January through almost all of March, I was seriously depressed. After a series of seriously unfortunate events, I couldn’t think for myself. Yet I could formulate my own opinion of the world. A sick, distorted perspective. I viewed everyone as going to stab me in the back eventually. Everyone was bad, no one was good. Trust no one; you will only have yourself in the end. I couldn’t breathe under the pressure that was always there. I couldn’t focus on school, friends, anything. I fell behind in all of my classes, I became nonexistent in the eyes of many, and to the people that remained there for me I thought of as just being fake. Or I would push them away. My depression enveloped me.

I love to write, it’s my thing. My passion. And in those times, I didn’t want to write, but I felt the ink pour from my skin, and it stained the paper forever. At some times my writing would be so dark I wouldn’t want to keep it in my notebook. It was evil. I felt myself becoming darkened in the presence of my writing.

Why? Why was this happening to me? What had I done? Did I become so consumed in my ways that I couldn’t perceive my wrongs? Or was it merely a test in which a lesson pursues? There are very few who know that feeling. And to those, I respect you. I would never wish it upon another being, even to ones I loathe. It was a place so gloomy that it was blinded by darkness. When light penetrated, I was unable to see, denying the help offered by countless friends.

I layed down silently in my room, with my back flat on the bed. I layed there, and began to cry. The process would repeat itself. I would continue to do the same thing tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. And the next day. Until I’d eventually die. The realisation that life wasn’t what it was talked up to be scared me. The fact that I’d do the same thing for the remainder of my life scared me. And so I restlessly stayed in bed, unable to cope with the pressure.
By day’s dawn, I woke up. The sun was barely a faint glow in the distance. It was beautiful. I climbed up the ladder outside my room, leading up to the roof, breathing heavily. I looked far into oblivion through the window. The sun was showing its colours as the faint colours became a glistening array of orange and yellow. Tears streamed down my face. The rope that I had prepared for this had already been up the roof the whole time. I tied the rope to a metal rod sticking out from the top. The rope felt like goo to me- like it would slip away from my fingers at any moment. I slowly wrapped the other end of the rope around my neck.
As I walked to the edge of the roof, I could hear my mum calling for me. “JACK! JACK!” Her voice growing more frantic by every call. I began to cry. Not from sadness, but because I felt like it was finally over. The pain, the anguish, the worry. All of it would soon be gone. I smiled at the fact that it would be gone- forever. I closed my eyes, muttered a few last words. I opened my eyes, and looked down at the ground. Without hesitation, I leapt off the roof. I could feel everything fall silent. Not a thing could be heard. I kept on smiling, though. I kept on smiling.
And through all of this I found that when you can’t breathe, there is no one to breathe for you. And when you have no will for anything anymore, no one is there for you. At the end, you’re the only one who will keep yourself going.…...

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