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Painfully Shy

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Being Painfully Shy

Texas State University – San Marcos, Texas

COMM 1310: Fundamentals of Human Communication

Philip (Tyler) Agnello

Living in a world being painfully shy isn’t easy. The worldview of you is not great, people always think there is something wrong with you or that you are weird. So I’m always walking around thinking to myself why am I here. People look at me like I’m crazy, but I’m really not I just do not know how to express myself. I always have to be mindful walking around making sure I do not slip up because people are very prejudice towards shy people. Hopefully one day I will be able to, but for now I’m just painfully shy.

Every day I wake up dreading having to go to school. I already know as soon as I get there people are going to make fun of me and tease me and so on. So I just look down walking through the halls and think why can’t I be normal and outgoing like everyone else? I get to class and get my pen and paper out and wait for the teacher to come in. While I’m waiting no one talks to me and I’m too shy to talk to them so I just sit there and self-talk to myself or write in my journal about how I wish everything could be different. I do this in every class. When it’s time for lunch I’m “the weird kid” that sits by himself at the table in the corner that’s never been cleaned. People laugh and make fun of me and inside I just wish I had enough courage to say something back to them but I can’t do it because I am just to painfully shy to stand up for myself so I just take what’s given to me.

I go home after school because I’m too shy to get involved with any extracurricular activities. When I get home I go straight to my room and sit there waiting for my parents to get home so we can eat dinner. Once dinner is ready I go to the table and eat my food as quickly as possible to avoid talking to my parents because I just do not want to deal with them. They always think something is wrong but there isn’t. I am just painfully shy. Once I’m done eating I either go back to my room and watch the television, go do my homework or I look up different ways to try to become less shy. The only book I have read on how to try to start over coming being painfully shy has helped a little. 2 authors: It tells me that I should not tell myself to get “buck up” or “snap out of it” but I should just calm down and say to myself that “I am okay” (Barbara G. Markway and Gregory P. Markway, 2003) (p64) I have also went online and looked at several different articles but one I found that I think might help If I do take the advice from the web article says that 1 Author: Kevin Rhea (1997-2010) wrote that “"shyness" is a survival mechanism --- for the individual --- and for the entire population. Perhaps for humanity, “shyness” is also an evolutionary mechanism because people who are "shy" also tend to be searching for truth; people of high integrity; leaders by example; thinkers; advisors; healers; compassionate; fair; and have many other positive qualities and have many positive impacts on society. Shy people are greatly needed by the world!” (Principles link on the site 1)You are not like everyone else.) this made me realize that being shy isn’t always a bad thing. Yet I still want to grow out of it as soon as I can. This is what I do throughout the school week.
On Friday or Saturday night I just sit there hoping maybe someone will call or text message me asking to do something. What am I kidding no I’m not because I probably wouldn’t even answer or reply because I’m to painfully shy. So I just get ready for bed and the lay there until I fall asleep. The next day I do not want to get up because I know my day is going to be the same as it always is because I’m to painfully shy to find the good things in my life.

As I get older and the years, months, weeks, days, and hours all go by I realize the I need to adapt to being painfully shy. I should probably look into more books or articles of how to outgrow or change being shy or even maybe try joining different organization to help me break out of this painfully shy shell of mine. Although for now I will keep living my life the way I am in my painfully shy world.


1. Barbara G. Markway, Ph.D. and Gregory P. Markway, Ph.D. (August 2003) PAINFULLY SHY: How to Overcome Social Anxiety and Reclaim Your Life, 1st edition, pages 288

2. Kevin Rhea (1997-2010) Shy and Free. Retrieved from:…...

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