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Take Someone to Lunch

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Submitted By nriccardo
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Take the “other” to lunch Twenty-one percent of all U.S. pregnancies (excluding miscarriages) end in abortion. Abortion is a highly controversial topic throughout all age groups. Being a very non- controversial person this is about the only thing that I have ever had an opinion on. I am an anti- abortionist. I have grown up in the Catholic Church and that right there may say a lot to someone. Because of my religious beliefs I have always thought that abortion was the wrong choice because that is what I was taught through the religion I follow. The other side of this topic is the people who are pro- choice, which I always saw as wrong. With this being the topic of this paper I knew exactly who I was going to “take to lunch” and that is my best friend who I had just assumed had the same views as I did until we were faced with it in a real life situation. Catie is my best friend more like sister of 14 years she had moved away to attend college in California and it was our second semester of freshman year in college when I got a panicked call from my best friend telling me she was pregnant and she didn’t know what to do. This is why she is the person I have chosen to sit down with and have this conversation. Until now we have just avoided the conversation. My best friend Catie and I went to lunch, ok kind of, we got taco bell from the drive thru and drove around the beach back in our hometown Dunedin. Being as close as we are I came straight to her and said listen I need help with my speech paper and we are going to have to discuss our views on abortion. She was totally cool about it so since we are together 24/7 when we are both back home we just talked about it while we were out just the two of us. Thankfully for our extremely close relationship we were able to have a very good conversation and keep open minds. I learned something right away from this conversation as soon as it began, it started with us simply stating our views as I reminded her that I am an anti- abortionist and then she told me she was also anti- abortion up until the moment she had found herself in the situation where she had to make the decision for herself. I had always just assumed she didn’t think anything of it and was pro-choice all along but that was not always the case. I told her why I was so anti about it and that I couldn’t imagine the thought of my sisters going through with that and not having my two beautiful nieces and a new one on the way. She pointed out how they’re both in stable married relationships and I then came back with the response “relationship stable or not it was still the same human life”, it got a little awkward silence for a few minutes after this and this is about as heated as the conversation got as I can see she really did have guilt about this. At this point I just listened. Coming from a less religious home she was never guided towards a right or wrong choice in that aspect. She thought heavily on her father who was never there and how this would be the same case. She was not in a very serious relationship and the way the father of this child reacted when she told him really made her feel like that is the only choice she had. The fear of telling friends and family and the thought of telling her mother frightened her, she felt like she had let down her mother who had worked so hard to raise her on her own to give her the best life and here she was screwing it up. Our family views were a bit different as well because since in my family we are anti abortionist they would be very disappointed if it were me in this situation but they would be much more supportive and accepting and very much apart of going through with having a child and raising it, but with her mom which is all the family she has is much less involved and wouldn’t be as supportive if she were to go through with the pregnancy, so with those completely different scenarios we agreed it plays a major role in the decision making process. At this time she confessed to me that although to our friend Cait and I, the only two that knew, she seemed like her mind was made up she was pro- choice and she was going to do what she believed in but really she was scared and every option and scenario crossed her mind before coming to the final decision. She specifically asked that I made it clear here that just because of her choice she made doesn’t mean it was an easy one, doesn’t mean it was the best one, doesn’t mean she is heartless, just means that it was the best one for her at that time and that is something she lives with everyday and that emotional guilt she will forever carry. This is how our conversation concluded and I felt it was very powerful because it made me realize that just because someone is pro choice doesn’t mean they don’t understand, they’re just doing what they believe is right in that time. In conclusion this experience answered a lot of things that would have never been talked about and really helped me understand through my best friends eyes what happened. The experience helped me develop a better grounds for listening and understanding all viewpoints and its topic specifically gave be a better understanding what most women go through during this time when facing these decisions and really helped me come to terms with being pro-choice. Not that this experience at this time changed my viewpoint but years ago when the whole thing happened I changed my viewpoint then and became pro-choice. I didn’t think that it could be possible for our 14 years of friendship to grow any further but this experience definitely opened up a closed off area in our friendship we didn’t even know existed and it definitely brought us together even more than ever before.…...

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